It all began on Saturday evening. I picked up the guy I was seeing from work - for the sake of this post let's call him T - and took him back to his as we were babysitting his little brother that evening. As we were waiting for our takeaway to be ready, his phone started ringing but as it was his (psycho) ex, he chose to ignore it (brief background summary - the moment his ex got wind of the fact that he had moved on and was seeing me, she decided to start mindfucking him into thinking that she wanted him back - she'd ended it last year, completely destroyed him, the bitch - and for a while he considered it but told her last week that it was over for good - smiles all round for me :). However, she doesn't seem to be getting the message, hence today's extraordinarily long post).
Anyway, where was I? Ah yes, the persistent bitch (sorry for the necessary use of profanity, but you will see why I have particularly violent feelings towards her if you choose to continue reading) wouldn't seem to take a hint and continued to irritate the fuck out of both me and him, until he went outside and took her call. I collected our food and walked with him to the car while he explained his ex's completely retarded way of thinking: apparently she'd called him saying she was about to buy a bottle of wine and then she was heading over to his for a night in with him. Um, hello? You weren't invited? Obviously he told her no and continued telling her no until she turned up on his doorstep in the middle of dinner!
*pause for effect*
I know, right? So he went to go and talk to her while I sat in the living room with his little brother and mum, feeling incredibly awkward, and after about 15 minutes he came back in and told us that she was leaving, thank God. End of, right? Oh no. The relentless cow phoned him not 5 minutes after leaving, telling him she was at his local (2 minutes down the road) and once he'd got rid of me (!) she'd come back and they'd have a lovely evening in! Can you believe the cheek of her? T clearly told her no, he wasn't kicking me out, I was staying and she was going home. And she left, right? WRONG! She called and called and called until eventually he went up there and put her in a taxi himself. He returned and we chilled out with his little brother watching a film, thinking that was the end of that and we'd finally get peace.
Note: as you may have guessed, that is NOT the last we heard of her, so the post is going to continue. Feel free to stop and take a coffee break before reading part 2...
What a relief. We'd finally got rid of her and could relax and enjoy a quiet evening in with his little bro...oh wait, did I mention what a persistent little bint she was? No? Well, just as T had launched into a game of Fifa with his brother, guess who decided to call? Oh yes. His phone vibrated and vibrated until I was ready to answer it and tell her to fuck off myself. He answered, told her he was playing Fifa and would talk to her later (extremely bad move in my opinion) and hung up. So, later (about 2 minutes, no joke) she called again. And again. And he picked up and told her he was playing Fifa with his little brother. And so it continued, until I got so fed up of listening to his phone buzz on the arm of the sofa that I went into his room and laid down on the bed in despair, knowing she was going to spend the rest of the evening taking all his attention away from me because she could. Eventually T got the hint that I was majorly pissed off/upset and came to see what was wrong. I explained that she was going to do everything she could to ruin our evening now she knew I was there, and so he turned his phone off. Smiles for me, we went back into the living room and watched TV with his brother until it was time to put him to bed.
Finally on our own, we chilled out in his room for a bit and *ahem* had a bit of fun which cheered me up a lot as the whole situation had really got to me. Afterwards, I went through to the kitchen to get a drink and when I came back, guess who was on the phone? (Btw, he'd had to turn his phone back on in case his mum tried to get in touch on her night out, which was fair enough) I was so hurt that not 5 minutes after we'd just had sex, he was talking to her, and so went and sat in the living room to give him some privacy (coz I'm too fucking nice). He came through and told me that she was at one of his friend's houses and was going to come over so they could "talk". He'd told her not to, but then, when has that ever stopped her in this story so far? Completely knackered, we both went to bed having heard nothing more from her.
You can guess what happens next, can't you? Are you as incredulous as I was? Quite possibly. Anyway, although you've guessed, I'm going to tell you anyway.
At around 5 minutes past midnight, I heard a loud banging on the door. I shot up in bed and no sooner had the words "T, there's someone at the door" been issued from my mouth, we both heard the door crash open, then his door (he sleeps on the ground floor), before the room was flooded with the light she'd just turned on (may I just mention that we were both completely naked in his bed, just to highlight the complete panic I was currently feeling). I laid there in absolute shock while T hurried to put on some underwear and tell her to go and sit in the front room (umm, hello? Why not just tell her to get the fuck out of your house?). He apologised profusely and went to go and sort her out (she was completely and utterly wasted) and get rid of her.
And in the space of about 5 minutes, the shock wore off and anger and fear had crept in (considering I could hear her moving about and knew she was trying to get into his bedroom to get at me. I grabbed my clothes (which were strewn around his floor - makes me smile to know that probably pissed her right off) and was in the process of doing up my shoelaces when T came back in. I told him I couldn't stay here while she was here (go me!) and he begged me to stay, that he'd get rid of her. So I conceded; I'd go out for a walk while he calmed her down and got her in yet another taxi home, and once she was gone I'd come back. Without another word, I kissed him and walked out (collective 'awwwww' for me here please) and walked towards the town centre, about half an hours walk away (bear in mind that it was now about quarter past midnight and therefore pub emptying out time, and I'm a 19 year old girl terrified of horrible drunk old men). When I was almost in town I received a text from T telling me that she'd just punched him in the face repeatedly, at which point I saw red and told him if he didn't call the police right now then I would. He called me and told me the police were on their way and could I please come home. I told him I'd walk to the corner of his road and call him and once she'd gone I'd come back. Once I'd made it back up the hill and to the corner of his road I called and he told me the police were letting her stand outside his house and have a fag before they left!! (Sorry but if you've broken into someone's house and assaulted them,you don't deserve the luxury of a cigarette). Standing 100 yards away I could actually hear her shouting as they put her in the car (she has got a massive mouth tbh). They finally left so I could go back inside (it was warm Saturday but once it got past 1am the temperature had dropped quite a bit), at which point I sat on his bed and burst into tears (I know, so lame but I had been walking around for about an hour by this point and was funnily enough feeling rather shitty).
So, obviously we weren't really up for sleeping much after what had just happened, and so decided to stay up so we could tell his mum what happened when she got back. Unfortunately, the stupid girl had lost her phone and some point during her drunken rampage (which should have been good news for us) and so we still didn't get any peace as we then had the police calling T and asking him to look round his house for her phone. It wasn't at his, so when the police called back and we told them we didn't have it, they then started asking about the ex's best friend. Turned out that they took her back to hers and her door was locked so instead of waking up her parents or taking her back to the cells for the night, they decided to take her to her best friend's house, who funnily enough, lives in the same town as T!! Which therefore meant I spent the rest of the night unable to sleep wondering when she might come back for another round. Not only that, T continued to get call after call as her best friend allowed T's ex to borrow her phone to carry on harassing him! Strangely enough, I was completely shattered and in a foul mood for my mother the next day when I went home.
So there you have it. I've tried to make light of what was, frankly, a really shit and slightly scary night. Feel free to join me in my new found hatred of unhinged, criminal exes.
Do you think I should write in with my story to Hollyoaks?
Whoa....
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