In response to the numerous anti-valentines blogs, Facebook statuses and Twitter updates, with everyone claiming that today is a day created solely to boost the profits of evil environment-destroying corporations (with the added bonus of mocking the lonely, and therefore miserable, single individuals that seem to be the ones posting all these negative texts in the first place), I am here to offer a rather more positive outlook on the February 14th. Well, I’m just going to piss you all off by telling you about my jour d’amour.
I’ve actually had a pretty productive day. Not only did I have lunch bought for me, I managed to bag myself a £20 Waterstones gift card (to all my admirers/future Valentines, take note: a gift card for this store is a sure-fire way to my heart…or at least a cheeky grope in the car on the way home), a sweet card telling me how amazing I am (which hello, I already knew, but it’s nice to know that others are also aware) and therefore boosting my confidence, and a little plastic keyring perfect for helping me to locate my car keys (its bright orange). And all this for less than 3 hours of my time. I didn’t even have to perform the usual mandatory blowjob, or lay back and think of how much better it would be if it was Jason Statham laying on top of me instead of my boyfriend.
I know it sounds harsh, and makes me look like a materialistic, self-obsessed bitch, but I’ve always believed in being completely honest and transparent for my followers (yes, all one of you).
And to top it off, all of the sweaty blokes that came into the jewellers and shelled out their hard earned cash on diamond earrings and necklaces (that their girlfriends would never wear because it looks like it came out of their mother-in-law’s jewellery box), guess what? You just boosted my commission for the month. Thanks guys!
So, to all of you who believe that Valentines Day is a complete waste of time, I just think you should know that I completely and utterly agree, but at the end of the day, I’m a plastic keyring and a couple of books better off than you. Happy Valentine’s Day!
Monday 14 February 2011
Wednesday 9 February 2011
Mushaboom :)
So, my original intention of starting a blog and posting almost every day has pretty much fallen flat on its face. But in all honesty, I've had an extremely busy week. So far in the space of a week I have:
-been for an interview, got my first full time job (with a rather lovely starting salary - cannot wait for the first paycheck);
-handed in two notices (for the part time jobs at which I've been employed for about 5 weeks);
-told my parents I'm moving out (only from my mum's house to my dad's, nothing exciting - still in the same county for God's sake);
-gone on two dates with my ex-boyfriend (very long story);
-had my mobile number changed (I don't really want to pay 11p a minute to listen to messages to a Mrs Dorothy McGiven, informing her that her son is a little shit at school and her daughter still continues to wear the wrong shoes to school - I don't think Dorothy is going to be winning Mother Of The Year award anytime soon);
-moved all the stuff in my room into my sister's old room (only to have to put it all in boxes in about a week - just don't ask);
-ordered, started and finished a new book (not really a surprise, as I read scarily quickly);
-and of course, been at work six days last week (up at 6am every morning, without fail).
I'm actually quite proud of myself. Who knew you could get so much done on so little sleep? Not to mention the fact that I've had constant headaches since the beginning of last week, I've been an emotional train wreck for the last four months, and my hair looks like shit; unfortunately I have only myself to blame for that last one, due to my willingness to be my (hairdresser) friend's gullible little guinea pig. My hair is now a fetching shade of red/brown roots, black underneath with a very bad dye job on top, trying to cover the fact that my hair has been bleached to within an inch of it's life. It's also short. I let her cut off my lovely long hair, that had taken two years to grow back after the last hack job.
Still, I've been unusually optimistic this week, considering all that. I'm feeling...mushaboom. Mushaboom is my word for peachy, hunky-dory, however others wish to express it. Taken from the so-titled song by Feist. Listen to it. It makes you feel all fluffy inside. If that's the kinda thing you're after.
It must be the endorphins. Stupid fucking endorphins. Apparently I'm in love...again. With the same bloke I was in love with before. And then wasn't. And then was again...beginning to see a pattern here? That's why it's a long story, and terribly dull for those who don't really give a shit. So...about everyone then.
I do apologise to everyone for being so incredibly chipper this week. I can assure you it won't happen again. I will be back to my lovely morose self before you can blink.
Now off to talk to my parents about the best way to wallpaper a room.
Dear God, I need to get out more.
P.S. Also bought Adele's new album last week. It's fucking incredible. Buy it.
P.P.S. Sorry for the long post. I applaud you if you've got this far without falling into a coma.
-been for an interview, got my first full time job (with a rather lovely starting salary - cannot wait for the first paycheck);
-handed in two notices (for the part time jobs at which I've been employed for about 5 weeks);
-told my parents I'm moving out (only from my mum's house to my dad's, nothing exciting - still in the same county for God's sake);
-gone on two dates with my ex-boyfriend (very long story);
-had my mobile number changed (I don't really want to pay 11p a minute to listen to messages to a Mrs Dorothy McGiven, informing her that her son is a little shit at school and her daughter still continues to wear the wrong shoes to school - I don't think Dorothy is going to be winning Mother Of The Year award anytime soon);
-moved all the stuff in my room into my sister's old room (only to have to put it all in boxes in about a week - just don't ask);
-ordered, started and finished a new book (not really a surprise, as I read scarily quickly);
-and of course, been at work six days last week (up at 6am every morning, without fail).
I'm actually quite proud of myself. Who knew you could get so much done on so little sleep? Not to mention the fact that I've had constant headaches since the beginning of last week, I've been an emotional train wreck for the last four months, and my hair looks like shit; unfortunately I have only myself to blame for that last one, due to my willingness to be my (hairdresser) friend's gullible little guinea pig. My hair is now a fetching shade of red/brown roots, black underneath with a very bad dye job on top, trying to cover the fact that my hair has been bleached to within an inch of it's life. It's also short. I let her cut off my lovely long hair, that had taken two years to grow back after the last hack job.
Still, I've been unusually optimistic this week, considering all that. I'm feeling...mushaboom. Mushaboom is my word for peachy, hunky-dory, however others wish to express it. Taken from the so-titled song by Feist. Listen to it. It makes you feel all fluffy inside. If that's the kinda thing you're after.
It must be the endorphins. Stupid fucking endorphins. Apparently I'm in love...again. With the same bloke I was in love with before. And then wasn't. And then was again...beginning to see a pattern here? That's why it's a long story, and terribly dull for those who don't really give a shit. So...about everyone then.
I do apologise to everyone for being so incredibly chipper this week. I can assure you it won't happen again. I will be back to my lovely morose self before you can blink.
Now off to talk to my parents about the best way to wallpaper a room.
Dear God, I need to get out more.
P.S. Also bought Adele's new album last week. It's fucking incredible. Buy it.
P.P.S. Sorry for the long post. I applaud you if you've got this far without falling into a coma.
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